What if we had to purchase happiness and self esteem the way we purchase most things? Would you value it more? Would you feel it more? Would you recognize it as a tangible commodity you owned? Would our lives be happier, easier, more joyful overall? It’s an interesting notion I think.

Somehow it seems negative emotions:  anger, fear, guilt, worry get more of our attention and feel more at home in our lives than positive emotions like happiness, hope, pride and success. Is it just fear of failure or something else at work. I don’t know, but if you had to pay for simple pleasures –  a sunny day and clear blue sky, a field of flowers, to have the loved ones in your life that you do, the satisfaction of a job well done, a fun dinner with friends, coming home after an arduous trip, having your kids put an arm around you – would you enjoy these things more? 

I try these days, as too many of my contemporaries are getting ill and passing away, to recognize how fortunate I am and cherish the day and all it brings. Time passes much faster than it used to, so I’m trying more and more to follow the words of a very wise man, “Be the change you want to see in the world.” These were Ghandi’s words. So, if you want to have love, be love. If you want to enjoy peace, be peace. If you want to find joy, be joy. If you want to see yourself live well with diabetes, live well with diabetes. 

And I think the way to appreciating things more is, while not necessarily easy, pretty much as simple as what Christopher Robin said to Pooh: “You must remember this: You’re braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.” Hmmm…that’s a lot to take in, and yet, some pretty good stuff to live by.

I recently read this quote and put it where I see it often:

“Everyone stands alone on the heart of the earth transfixed by a sun ray and suddenly it is evening.”

In other words:

What are you doing with the substance of your life?

What will you want to have accomplished when it’s over?

What do you want to be remembered for?

What could you do today that would add something to your life or that of others?

What will you do today that matters; that honors that you’re here?

…for so suddenly it is evening.

I would gladly credit the author of this quote but do not know who it was.

March 3rd Oprah’s launching the biggest book club ever on her web site – it’s global and they’ll be reading a book I read two years ago and was so taken with when I lifted it up off my friend’s coffee table in Scottdale, that she had to gift it to me. Which she did.  Since the world is beginning to pick it up, I dipped in again last night. The book is  A New Earth- Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose by Eckhart Tolle.

A new earth is about detaching from your ego and waking up to your inner consciousness. When you come from your inner spirit, not your ego, you will be an instrument for positive change in the world, so says Tolle. This is the act of leaving your identification of yourself as your ego behind; residing in the consciousness that you truly are, whose purpose is to create good, both in your life and the world, and can do so supremely better than our small, defensive, judgmental egos.

The passage I read last night struck me in relation to this journey we’re on living with diabetes. Talking about loss Tolle says, “there are many accounts of people who experienced an emerging new dimension of consciousness as a result of tragic loss at some point in their lives. Some lost all their possessions, others their children or spouse, their social position, reputation or physical abilities. Whatever they had identified with, whatever gave them their sense of self, had been taken away. Then suddenly and inexplicably, the anguish or intense fear they initially felt, gave way to a sacred sense of Presence, a deep peace and serenity and complete freedom from fear.”

Paraphrasing what Tolle goes on to say here’s the message — When there is nothing to identity with anymore, who are you? Your sense of  “I am” is freed from being tangled up with concrete forms. You realize your essential being, your true self, is consciousness itself.

Not everyone reacts to loss with this realization. Some create a strong mental image (thought form) seeing themselves as a victim, whether of circumstances other people or fate. This thought form of themselves creates anger, resentment, self-pity, and they strongly identify with it. The ego then identifies with this new form. The fact that this form is a deeply unhappy one, doesn’t concern the ego much. As long as the ego has an identity it is happy.

Whenever tragic loss occurs, you either resist it or you yield to it. Some people become bitter and deeply resentful, others become compassionate, wise and loving. Yielding means you are accepting what is and you are open to life.

If you take action from resistance and negativity you will create more resistance and negativity in your life; life will not be helpful. When the shutters are closed the sunlight cannot come in so to speak. However, when you yield, when you surrender, a new dimension of consciousness opens. If action is necessary, yours will be in alignment with the greater good and supported by creative intelligence. Circumstances and people become helpful and cooperative. Positive coincidences happen. If no action is necessary, you rest in peace and inner stillness. You rest in God.

Tolle is a great spiritual teacher and I am an avid believer. It’s always been my message that we should try to see our diabetes as a loss that can lead to greater positive determination, empathy, compassion, appreciation and quality of life. Yield and find your strength, power and ability to transform yourself, your life and the world for greater good. I’m with you Tolle. I’m with you Oprah.

O.K., time to take stock. As for New Year’s resolutions, if you’ve already given up on your resolutions you’re among the greater 64% who have too. How about your diabetes resolutions? Did you make any? If so, you may well have given up on those too, or nearly. Change is hard!

I don’t make resolutions of any sort because if I’m really committed to doing something, I don’t have to make a declaration about it, and if I’m not committed it won’t get done whether I say it will or not. So what gets in the way? The experts say stress, mood swings and boredom are largely what dash our resolutions into the snow or the sand depending on your geographic clime, weeks after we make them and throw us off our well intentioned paths. Sounds about right.

Resolutions typically require changing your behavior – doing things differently on a steady basis. This means forming new habits. Did you know it takes at least 3 to 4 weeks to form a new habit? And, it’s not a straight road to success, you’ll stumble on your way. Whether you get back up and continue toward your goal depends on you – your commitment, how important the goal is to you and how compelling your motivation is. So each resolution is deeply personal and each resolutioner has his or her very individual level of commitment and impediments. But here are two rules of thumb that apply across the board. 1) Don’t put excess pressure on yourself when forming a new habit to do it quickly or do it perfectly. These expectations will defeat you before you barely begin. 2) Appreciate any and every step you take in the right direction. If you see success as moving in the right direction rather than goal completion, you’ll gain new steam from your improvement alone.

Psychologists also talk about a “change muscle.” Figuratively, it’s a place in your body that has captured a memory of you having successfully made a change before. Connecting with this place and drawing upon this memory and energy can help you; your remembrance of change and success can inspire you to move forward with more conviction when things get tough.

Also, a support team is helpful when you’re trying to make a change. Whether it’s your spouse, a friend, neighbor or community resources, reach out, it’s easier if you’re not going it alone. Sometimes you just need a cheerleading squad, especially when your mind, as punishment for self-assessed failure, has placed you in front of your own personal firing squad.

Thinking about where I draw support from in addition to my family and friends, I remembered a poem I read long ago. It talks about a higher spirit always being there to help us. It gives me comfort. You will probably remember having read it before too:

Footprints in the Sand Copyright © 1984 Mary Stevenson

One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord.

Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.

In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand.

Sometimes there were two sets of footprints,

other times there was one only.

This bothered me because I noticed that during the low periods of my life,

when I was suffering from anguish, sorrow or defeat,

I could see only one set of footprints, so I said to the Lord,

“You promised me Lord, that if I followed you,

you would walk with me always.

But I have noticed that during the most trying periods of my life

there has only been one set of footprints in the sand.

Why, when I needed you most, have you not been there for me?”

The Lord replied, “The years when you have seen only one set of footprints,

my child, is when I carried you.”

Even if you’ve given up your resolutions, nothing says you can’t start again right now. There’s no need to wait another 330 days.

Try telling yourself you’re going to “practice” your change this year. It will take the pressure off and chances are it will actually become real when you’re not even looking.